Dear
Sir.
I am
truly appreciative of the care and concern you have shown for the humble peasants
of WV and especially those of us in the Eastern Panhandle. Were it not for your
noble decrees surely we would all be stuck hiding in our homes clutching rolls
of toilet paper waiting for some unknown
day when it might be safe to go back outside and reopen our businesses and
resume our lives, instead of the clear specific guidance you have provided. In response
to all you have done for us it is only fair that we in some small way return
the favor and be concerned for your health as well.
There is
a side effect of the Corona Virus that Dr. Fouci in all his wisdom has not
publicly warned about. A side effect that public officials seem highly susceptible
to, it manifests itself in delusions, specifically delusions of grandeur.
The primary
manifestation of these delusions seems to be the mistaken belief that you are
Yul Brenner in the 10 commandments. Symptoms may include but are not limited to
the belief that a disaster declaration gives you complete and total power to
dictate every aspect of the lives of every citizen of the State of West
Virginia, and to determine by arbitrary means which of those citizens is essential.
As symptoms
worsen the afflicted may begin stating “So let it be written, So let it be
done!” when signing executive orders. Acute symptoms may involve envisioning
the WV burial mounds as pyramids built in one’s own honor, wearing Egyptian
headgear and taking a “Pharaoh Name”
This is
already happening in two of our neighboring states as Governors “Never Trump”
Ramses in MD and “Blackface” Ramses in VA are hopelessly afflicted and their
insanity is no longer in doubt.
Please take
care sir we our lost without you and your divine decrees.
To governor “Redneck” Ramses from a concerned citizen of the
state of WV where Mountaineers are always free, unless there is a chance of
catching a virus of some kind., John W Tabler
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